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Monday, January 11, 2010

Being yourself vs respecting anothers boundries (January Article)

So today someone unfriended u or linden labs unfriended them 4 u your not really sure why, they never said anything to u that day an u didn't talk to them sooo what happened? I mean u have gotten in trouble in the past 4 not respecting their boundaries, but they don't talk much so its hard to say, especially if they don't tell u. An u have said more risque things to them in the past than anything u have said recently an they didn't seem upset about it so why today? do u write them a letter, well u could, but would that in itself be disturbing a boundary. at the same time u cant let others oppress you an tell u not to act the way u do with everyone, i mean peeps gotta accept you for who u are, especially if they want the same privilege. but all relationships require compromise on various levels this u know, because in order for a relationship of any kind (even friendships) to be successful, u need communication an compromise. K so u don't have the greatest memory, how do u remember what upsets others do u write it in a book, well u could, but it kinda cumbersome to look at that all the time, i usually strive 4 just being totally blunt about it an asking, but sadly there this thing called etiquette that polite people use as a bible which sometimes confuses their true intent. how do u know if their being honest or just polite, u don't, thats why i really dislike political correctness an etiquette. Its also why i am attracted to an adore bluntness an honesty. I mean gimme "me Tarzan u Jane" any day baby at least Jane knows Tarzan is warm 4 her form. but seriously its both parties responsibility if they care at all to at least try communicating an i know there is this little thing called fear (which i can be horribly guilty of with certain people) but dammit sometimes u gotta just jump! what really drives me insane about SL is the ease with which some of the tools can be used to create bad forms of communication. *muting people* nice feature but u cant do that in rl an if u ran around with a remote trying to peeps would laugh an think u loopy. Same with *unfriending* someone says something u dont like or u bored, wham they get the ax, screw how that may hurt there feelings or nuttin i mean if u ran up to timmy in rl an slapped him thereby *unfriending*, timmy would be upset an possibly demand an explanation an it wouldn't be considered odd at all cause if u respected timmy at all u should at least tell him why u slapped him so he can say sorry an possibly make amends, assuming u give him the chance. but again thats up to u, i try an treat peeps how i wanna be treated, so i would give timmy the chance, tho i have told peeps that after 3 unfriendings no more an i mean it, cause seriously it kinda hurts even tho it is just online to some of u. So guys if i ever inadvertently upset u or step over a boundary please know  its not intentional an please allow me to try an make amends, cause while i like joking about tormenting people i only ever tease an i never mean 4 my teasing to hurt or upset anyone :( Also i am flexible an open to compromise but ultimately have to be me too so treat me like you'd like to be treated an I'll ultimately try to do the same, but reality check, this girl is not perfect an i do make mistakes so if u could take that into account too it would be nice:)) oh an if u have an instruction manual u would like to share that would be cool too!

much love Wytchwhisper:)

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy new year what are your expectations? (January Article)

I was thinking today through my own experience an from talking to others about our expectations. They always seem to be there even subconsciously regardless of weather we want them to or not. We can say we don't expect anything but we all have little hopes an dreams we wish would happen an when they don't we seem disappointed unless we change our perspective about the situation. I mean we can choose to remain all down cause the circumstances didn't fulfill what we thought they should be or we can choose to maybe look at it thru another's eyes an their possible motivations, but even then unless u r in someones head, u just don't know u can only guess, an guessing isn't always right. We don't always know others motivations for doing things how badly they have been hurt in the past an how that may be effecting their current behavior. As humans we generally seem to try an internalize an find fault with ourselves somehow like we may have inadvertently caused the undesired result but in reality it prolly has little to do with us an more with the other persons self talk, u don't know the things our  crazy brains say to us, like evil jimminy crickets lol its all lies i tell u. With out another voice to say "that's crap!" we usually stupidly believe these lies when we should prolly just say "jimminy shut the fuck up would ya" lol "i mean seriously dude your raining on my parade". So what (insert person) didn't say  or do what u had hoped they would does that mean they don't care? hell no it just means they cant read your mind i mean seriously how can we expect things from others if they have no clue what we want. On top of that you don't know their current circumstances just cause they don't wanna hop on da stripper pole 4 ya doesn't mean they don't want too but maybe a crazy prude that might hit them with a purse is nearby u just don't know! or maybe they had traumatic stripper pole trauma in their past were everyone laughed at them, i mean unless u ask u just don't know! So ask dammit! Communicate with others try an let them know what your evil jimminy has been saying so they can tell u its crap. Part of the biggest problems i see (including myself sometimes with certain people) is the inability or fear to express our wishes an dreams to others, doing so makes us vulnerable yes no doubt but unless there a total ass they not  gonna pull out a knife an stab u repeatedly. (well unless they a smily faced murderer but that a whole another topic) And people are constantly growing as individuals just because someone laughed at your shoes an called u a looser yesterday doesn't mean they still feel that way today (is an eternal optimist). I mean shit rolls down hill an u don't know who crapped on them before they dumped on u or maybe they sexually frustrated an need to align their chakras (i know i get angry easier if im sexually frustrated) seriously we just don't know an peeps need to talk more. What if they wont talk or your too scared to talk about it? well then u can either stay miserable an think of the worst possible scenarios or u can choose to look at it in a positive light an be happy for the present it is your choice after all. I mean our expectations are our responsibility weather we choose to share them or not.