Have you ever thought to yourself "I would really like to own a wooden penis that looks like Stephen Harper"?

No. Of course you haven't. No one has. But one lucky bidder will soon have this distinct honour(?)

The Calgary Sexual Health Centre is auctioning off a collection of hand-decorated wooden phalli - "Woodies" - painted by local and national celebrities as part of fundraising efforts for their 40th anniversary celebration.

Included in the collection is a creation painted by CBC star and satirist Rick Mercer.

Named "Lil' Steve," the dildo features a bespectacled Harper in a white shirt and blue tie. Atop his, ahem, head, is painted his trademark helmet-like, grey coif.

stephen harper wooden penis

Around the base is a Conservative Party of Canada sticker that reads "For Display Purposes Only," lest anyone (God forbid) decide to actually take the toy for a test drive.